11.26.2008
Giving Thanks
I am thankful for my husband and our life together.
I am thankful that all my parents, Mom, Dad, Dad and Mama B, are all healthy.
I am thankful to have so many wonderful friends in Durham and throughout the world.
I am thankful for the love and forgiveness that has been shown to me by people this year when I did stupid things or for stupid/hurtful things done in the past.
I am thankful for having a job that allows me to serve my community while receiving a pretty darn nice pay check.
I am thankful that Mike got a job for next year so early in the season, thereby allowing him to enjoy the holidays a whole lot more.
I am thankful for my three wonderful kitties.
I am thankful that both my husband and I are healthy and happy.
I am thankful to be happy and content.
I am thankful for today and the promise of many wonderful tomorrows.
Oh yeah, and I am thankful for the Quorn Turk'y roll I get to have at Thanksgiving which will hopefully be super tasty and give me my "turkey fix"!!!!!
What are you thankful for this year?
11.25.2008
The joys of Facebook
I was especially reminded of this yesterday. I received a friend request from "Frank." He was in the South Africa network, and we shared a mutual friend - Esther. The name sounded familiar, but I just couldn't place the photo and the name. I decided I would accept the friend request, and if after looking at the guy's page I still didn't know who he was I would delete the friend. I accepted, and within a matter of minutes, I had a post on my wall. This Frank is the husband of my friend Elelwani in South Africa. I have posted pics before on this blog of Elelwani and I hanging out in South Africa. (At the bottom of this post is a pic of Elelwani and I with friends at Jazz Fest while she was preggers with Masana - click HERE) But Ele had told her husband all about me, and when he saw my name on Esther's friend list, he added me on as his friend. I was delighted to hear that the couple just had a second little girl, Isha, now a younger sister to Masana. And the best part of all is that he sent me pictures! YAY!!!!!!!! I picked a couple to share here. Thank you, Facebook!!!
11.24.2008
Black Friday - but a lot better
Click on the photo to see the ad larger!Triangle Brewing Company: Bourbon Aged Abbey Dubbel & Habanero XPA
Duck-Rabbit Brewing Co.: Coffee Porter
Liberty Steakhouse & Brewing: IPA & Brown Ale
Carolina Brewery: Flagship IPA & Oatmeal Porter
Rock Bottom: Pumpkin Pie Ale
Ham's Restaurant and Brewery: Peg Leg Pale Ale
Foothills Brewing Co: Hopium IPA
Natty Green's: Old Town Brown
French Broad: Running Rebels ESB
Top of the Hill: TBA
There will also be draft beers from Carolina Brewing Company (IPA) in Holly Springs, Triangle Brewing Company, Rock Bottom in Charlotte, and Liberty in High Point, as well as various bottles from around the US and world. Happy Thanksgiving, indeed :-)
11.21.2008
Now THAT is a unique gift

My initial thought was, "Buy a seal as a gift?" I don't think that's what they are getting at, but it gave me a nice chuckle. HAPPY FRIDAY!
11.20.2008
Ridiculous Addictions: Facebook Wrestler
Some folks are WAY into it - tag team matches, stables, elaborate plotlines, etc. Me, I just do the matches. I have become good enough to claim the Duke title 3 times, and I am working my way up the RDU rankings. Why do I even care? I have NO idea. Way back when my ex and I were first dating in College Station, he used to do an online wrestling league with some friends. They put together these elaborate html wrestling matches, and they put a lot of thought and creativity into it. I did not get it AT ALL. But now, I think I do get it a bit more. And my silly wrestling league isn't even half as involved as theirs was. But there is a certain fun-ness to the smack talk and crazy outfits.
Oh well. Silly vices we all have, yes? (was that too Yoda like?)
But if you're looking for something to do, or if you want to get the crap smacked out of you (online of course) by the three time Duke Facebook Wrestling Champion, challenge me to a match........
11.18.2008
It's official.
Mike and I are both thrilled. He gets to teach at a small, selective liberal arts college, and I am thrilled with the location. Denison University is located in Granville, Ohio, just outside of Columbus. Columbus is the 15th largest city in the country, and it has a lot to offer. Between the numerous universities and financial institutions, I should be able to find an exciting place to work myself.I haven't yet made the official announcement at work, so if I do work with you and you read this - just let me know. All my higher ups know it is only a matter of time, and I hesitated posting our news here so the wrong folks don't find out in the wrong manner. But we are so excited, I just couldn't help it.
We won't be making the move for a while. I promised Self-Help a two year stint, and I am sticking to that as closely as possible. Plus, Mike still has to finish the dissertation, defend and graduate. We won't look to leave Durham until all those academic things are taken care of. I am just so proud of him. The academic job market is super tough, and even moreso this year due to the financial restraints placed on so many institutions of higher learning. But I knew that Mike would excel, and he did. A tenure track position in hand before Thanksgiving at just the kind of school we wanted to end up with.
I'll keep you all posted as we move forward. House hunting, visiting the city, selling off a ton of our stuff - there will be a lot of activity in our household over the next several months!!!
11.17.2008
The Serenity Prayer
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
UPDATE: In scanning around to find good stuff on stress, how to deal with stress, etc, I found this awesome list of how to better deal with the stressors around you. Sometime ago I did a post called the "Keys to Happiness." This is very much like that list except even MORE extensive. Are you stressed or tend to be stressed a lot? Copy and paste this list into a word document, print it, post it, learn it, live it and revisit it EVERY DAY!!!
Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People
- They have a sense of meaning, direction, and purpose. They are value-centered rather than reactive and defensive. They understand that emotions are great sources of energy and motivation but are often poor guides for action. Instead these people use their values as guides.
- They realize that the quality of our lives depends on how we focus our energy and our attention. They try to align their thoughts and actions with their values. They know how to motivate themselves to take action.
- They don’t judge themselves or others harshly when things go wrong. They focus on what they want, not on what they don’t want.
- They are able to tolerate ambiguity, uncertainty, and imperfection. They have a long-range perspective, so they give themselves and others room to grow. They can afford to be resilient, flexible, and creative because they are centered in their values.
- They are reasonably optimistic and have a sense of humor. Even though they are dedicated to doing things well, they don’t take themselves too seriously.
- They take responsibility for their mental programming, their emotions, and their actions. If they have ineffective ways of thinking and behaving, they evaluate them and make appropriate changes.
- They look at adversity as a challenge rather than as a threat. They realize that no matter how the present situation turns out, they will learn and grow from it.
- They respect themselves and other people. They have a spirit of cooperation, looking for win-win solutions rather than trying to win over other people or ignoring their own wants and needs because of fear.
- They are grateful for the good things in their lives.
- They know how to mourn the inevitable losses in life. They know how to let go of things they have no control over.
| From Wedding - honeymoon |
11.14.2008
11.11.2008
GUEST BLOGGER: The View from Grant Park
Hi, all - A first here on mymagicbean...we have a guest blogger today! My good friend Laura put together a wonderful recollection of election day in Chicago. I hope you all enjoy it!!!!
It’s been a week since the rally and I’m still at a loss as to how to even begin writing about it. I found out about a week prior that my friend Beth had gotten on the list to attend the “official” rally in Grant Park and that I would be her plus-one for the event. We were beyond excited, emailing and texting for days leading up to the night. I woke up that morning before my alarm went off, something that only happens on extraordinary days. I donned my ancient Virginia tshirt in the hopes that it would help my home state swing blue this time. All day at work, my boss and I were checking news sites online trying to find out ANYthing from the exit polls. I am pretty sure neither of us was productive in any way regarding work.
We finally called it quits a little before five (in fact, our entire building was encouraged to leave beginning at noon to help deal with the tide of people rushing into town) and headed to Pizano’s – by far the best pizza joint inside the loop. We fueled up with pizza, cocktails and a little bit of CNN, not sure what conditions would be like inside the rally – Would our cell phones work? Would there be news on the jumbotrons? Would there BE jumbotrons? Pizano’s was packed – far busier than I’ve ever seen any restaurant in the loop after 5 pm. CNN was on every tv and the crowd was buzzing. People chatted with one another across tables, sharing overheard stats and predictions. No one was a stranger that night.
We headed over to Michigan Avenue, carried along by the throngs of people all heading to Grant Park. It was balmy for November in Chicago, too warm for anything more than a sweater and jeans. Street vendors selling buttons and tshirts and others just handing out souvenirs were on every corner, something very unusual for Chicago as street vendors are not officially permitted and rarely tolerated. Our favorite shirt was the one for sale by TimeOut Chicago that screamed (in size 82 font) “I WAS THERE WHEN CHANGE HAPPEN GRANT PARK 2008.” Niiiice. I picked up a blingy Obama shirt and pulled it on over my Virginia shirt.

Art Institute lit up red, white & blue on Michigan Ave
Everyone around us was cheering, laughing, carrying signs, checking their phones. People were milling around in the middle of Michigan Avenue, normally one of the busiest streets in downtown Chicago. I noticed a single person in the crowd with a “Republican” shirt on it. It had a big red X across Obama’s face. I don’t think anyone else even noticed her; certainly no one was giving her a hard time. We walked on, admiring the signs, lights and positive mood of the crowd. I’ve attended Taste of Chicago, the various races and Lollapalooza several times, all held in the same general area, and never have the crowds been friendlier, more polite or easier to navigate.
Beth and I lined up to enter the rally area and got through the first checkpoint pretty quickly. The second checkpoint went quickly as well, it was barely a cursory check that our ticket was real and matched Beth’s license. We thought we were home-free and lined up for the third checkpoint – the metal detectors. That one took a while but we barely noticed as we were having a great time chatting, texting with friends not there, getting updates and cheering with the people around us. Each time someone got an update, a cheer would burst out from the crowd around them, radiating outward as the news was passed along.
Beth & Laura in the thick of the crowd
As soon as we were through the metal detectors – both a walk-through and wand for each and every person entering – we rushed onto the field to secure a spot. We worked our way to the middle of the crowd as best we could. It was already packed but we ended up about a football field to the right of the main podium. I could see the dais when I stood on my toes and craned my neck. My camera, held straight up in the air, had a better view. Poor Beth, all of 5’2”, didn’t have a chance. We could see the jumbotron clearly though, and celebrated with the crowd as states were announced for Obama, which was happening by the time we hit the field. My phone was dead by then, so we were getting texts on Beth’s phone from friends and family near and far. They were a little behind our updates from CNN displayed on the giant screens, but we still whooped and hollered with each duplicate announcement. Several people in the crowd had brought electoral maps so we knew instantly how “important” each announcement was. When states went to McCain, there were brief boos, but most people shrugged it off pretty quickly – easy to do since the only ones that were announced as Red were expected to go that way anyhow.
The crowd went wild when the hologram of Will.i.am was beamed into the CNN studio. We all laughed that every other news station must be kicking themselves. I mean, c’mon, who else thought to freaking beam people in from across the country? And of all people, Will.i.am? It was just too funny. We also went crazy each time the video cameras panned over the crowd. There was a GINORMOUS boom rigged up to get deep & low into the crowd and it was used frequently. We were right in front of one of the media stands and the cameras there were getting shots of the activity.
The crowd itself was striking. Not just because of the incredible positive energy, something I’ve found to be extremely rare anytime a massive number of people get together, but because of the diversity. White people, black people, brown people, yellow people… Everyone was there together, all getting along and laughing together. It’s not something I’ve seen very many times in my life. The group was not predominantly one color or type of person. There were very clearly people from all walks of life, middle-aged professionals in suits and working class Joes in jeans and hoodies. Young, old, rich, poor, gay, straight … That night it really, truly did not matter who you are or where you come from. We were all there supporting the same cause, cheering for the same man, dreaming the same dream. The reasons that brought each of us there may have been unique, but they all pointed to the same end: Obama for President!
I can’t remember the order that states were announced, aside from the vague northeast to southwest trend. I do remember everyone going especially nuts when New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Ohio were announced. The general chant was “YES WE CAN!” mixed with “OBAMA” and the name of whatever state had just been announced. Beth and I kept watching the crowd grow from simply filling most of the field to extending all the way across the bridges back to the first checkpoints. I think the final estimates were at approximately 250,000 people in the park that night.
Cooper Anderson kept bringing Virginia up, which I was most excited about, and each time the crowd would go (relatively) silent, waiting to hear what he had to say about it. Each time, we heard “too close to call” and I was (relatively) dying with anticipation. I spoke briefly on the phone with my mom (in Chesterfield, VA) and she mentioned that the local news in Richmond was reporting that people in NoVa and VaBeach were still in line to vote. This was around 9:45pm Central time and, more than a little deflated, I gave up hope that Virginia would be called that night.
Virginia announced Blue for Obama!
But minutes later, Coop brought Virginia back up on the jumbotron and marked it blue. The crowd roared with approval and I think I was the loudest one in the park. Before I was done hugging everyone around me, jumping up and down, shaking my Baracka (www.barackas.com) and, yes, crying a little bit, IT was announced: Obama had won it all. I would say all hell broke loose, but it certainly wasn’t anything resembling hell. It was pure joy in Grant Park. Hollering, crying, hugging, jumping joy. It was awesome.
I remember being in a Pro-life march in DC many years ago in high school. My family always has been and probably always will be pro-life and this was one of the most exciting days of my life thus far. Clinton was president and I was just determined we were going to convince him to change his policies on abortion. The naïveté of youth, eh? The crowd that day was massive, the biggest I’d ever seen in person or been part of. We started out near the Lincoln Memorial and walked to the Capitol. I thought we were being terribly effective – surely so many people coming together for a cause could make a difference? There were quite a few vulgar and somewhat violent opponents on the edges of our group. Several times, a twirling ring of them would break into our masses and separate groups from one another. Kids were separated from parents, old people were knocked down. I had never been so angry in my life. We made the news that night, but not a difference. Looking back, I realize that the main problem the marchers had that day was that we weren’t listening. No one was listening. Everyone was so busy shoving their message in the other side’s faces that no progress was made for either group. I’m still pro-life at heart, but I’ve learned to listen and understand that my beliefs are mine and important, but no more so than anyone else’s.
When McCain came on the jumbotron to concede the race to Obama, people listened. Sure, there were plenty of snide comments and jeers at some of his comments (“You’re not MY friend, Mr. McCain!”), but for the most part, the crowd was attentive and listened to his speech. We were appreciative that he silenced the boos from the crowd at his gathering. We cheered that he recognized Obama’s ability to inspire hope among us all. Were touched that he mentioned the passing of Obama’s grandmother. Were encouraged that he called his supporters to join us, Obama’s supporters, in fixing the many problems we face as a country. Soon after McCain’s speech, the jumbotrons played a montage from what I think was the Obama infomercial. Very “American” and it got the crowd pumped up.
It was around then that I got a text from Obama himself, saying thanks for the support and recognizing that this victory couldn’t have happened without me (and, I’m assuming, the other millions who campaigned and voted for Obama).
After that, the screens switched over to the main podium and Philip Cousins came out to say a prayer. It was nice, but people were way too excited to really calm down for a prayer. Everyone continued to cheer and snap photos. Then “some guy” (seriously, I have googled this to death and cannot find his name anywhere) came out and led us all in the Pledge of Allegiance. I haven’t said that with a group since I was a teacher back in Virginia! Kim Stratton (who???) came on afterward and tried to sing our National Anthem. I didn’t notice that she mangled it because I was singing along with the rest of the crowd. We couldn’t even hear her!
Finally, the moment arrived – Obama took the stage and gave his speech. It was too thrilling to comprehend, I’m so grateful for all the video & text posts to remind me of what was said. There were parts that stuck out – the mention of a puppy, his promise to be honest about the challenges we face, the story about a woman over 100 years old who has seen so much of our country’s history, how far we’ve come and how much we’ve changed, and the call to all of us that this is just the beginning and that we have a long, hard road ahead of us.
The crowd roared and celebrated, cheering for the new POTUS and that we were all there to celebrate with him. Michelle, Malia and Sasha came out, all looking adorable in their coordinating outfits of red & black. By then, the crowd was getting cheered-out and started to leave. Beth and I stuck around for a little while, people-watching and continuing to celebrate, when we realized we were exhausted. The temps had cooled off quite a bit and I couldn’t stop coughing. We headed out with the crowd to Michigan Avenue and walked for a bit, enjoying the revelry in the still-closed streets. In this part of the city, the Red line El is underground. You go down a huge flight of stairs, swipe your pass, down another flight of stairs and you’re on the platform. That night, the lines were up both flights of stairs and continued down the block. We decided to take the bus home.
We climbed on the first 22Clark bus that came along and managed to score seats. Beth departed at Delware St and I dozed as the bus headed north to Ravenswood. I had been texting with my (republican) friend Moes and we met up at Gio’s, the corner bar near my apartment. By then, I was really pooped and was ready for bed, but I had a Goose Island Matilda and swapped stories about the night with Moes. He’d been on Michigan Avenue as well, in the Hilton at the Young Republican party. He said it was a pretty lame sausage fest and left soon after Ohio went to Obama. That was when he knew it was over for McCain. We enjoyed our beers, the company at Gio’s and then I headed home to bed. What a great night! I woke up with a sinus infection, which I’m still battling, but it was totally worth it. Yes we did!
Eat Out for a Good Cause Tonight - Triangle RSVVP

Today, Tuesday November 11 is Dine Out and Make a Difference Day in the Triangle!
What is RSVVP? Here's some info from their website:
On Tuesday, November 11, 2008, Triangle residents will have the opportunity to help feed the hungry in their communities when they patronize any local restaurant participating in the 20th annual RSVVP (Restaurants Sharing V/5 + V/5 Percent) Day.
This year, hundreds of restaurants throughout Chapel Hill/Carrboro, Durham and Raleigh are being encouraged to participate in this RSVVP event to aid shelters and community kitchens throughout the Triangle area. Funds are raised through the donations of participating restaurants that pledge 10 percent of their gross receipts on RSVVP Day for breakfast, lunch, dinner or take-out meals.
SunTrust (who has sponsored this event for all of its 20 years) plays a special role in this hunger relief partnership alongside our media sponsors. A generous grant from SunTrust helps to underwrite all administrative costs, including the cost of printing and mailing. In addition, it pays for the posters and table tents that identify the participating restaurants and for the thousands of flyers listing those restaurants, which are distributed to Triangle churches, civic groups, schools, and businesses to publicize RSVVP.
The generosity of this sponsorship allows all money raised by the RSVVP fundraiser to go directly to the Triangle agencies that provide the hunger relief programs.
Participating Restaurants:
So, GO OUT AND EAT!
11.10.2008
Miriam Makeba, "Mama Africa" 1932-2008

I'm on the cover in the yellow shirt. Ms. Makeba is in the center top frame in a yellow shirt herself. You can see the top of my head in the photo, too :-)
I also saw her perform at the Cape Town Jazz Festival in 2006. I feel very lucky to have seen this amazing musical legend twice in my life. She will be greatly missed by so many people all around the world. Here's to you, Mama Africa!
11.07.2008
The return of TROIKA

If you are in Durham, you know it. The Troika Music Festival is back. It actually started last night, but today and tomorrow are full of tunes for you to enjoy all over our awesome city. Go to the official website to get more information: http://www.troikamusicfestival.org/.
Tonight, I'm working at the Carolina Theatre for both the viewing of Girls Rock and for the performances afterward:
Carolina Theatre, 309 West Morgan Street (All ages, beer)
Check out the schedule online - some locations have a cover, others are free. Come out and hear some great live music!!!
11.05.2008
Election Reflection
It’s November 4, 2008. I started writing this while sitting at Precinct 14 in
I expected to see more people here today. There has been a steady trickle of voters all day, but there has never been a line or a shortage of parking spaces. As I made my way to the school at 7:15am this morning, I was expecting to see a line down the street. Unfortunately there wasn’t. I was actually hoping for lines, random comradery, singing, laughing – a spectacle if you will. But there has been none of that. But even without the fanfare, I have still seen something today that’s just as spectacular.
I’ve heard at least eight or nine people say, “This is my first time to vote.” I’ve heard, “I’m here to vote for my boy!” (and in different instances, this definitely meant two different candidates). I’ve seen Obama shirts, McCain buttons, but unfortunately no Michael Munger paraphernalia. I’ve seen several people who are nervous, unsure and slightly intimidated as they walk in the door, yet they proceed into the voting area anyway ensuring their voice can be heard. I heard the poll volunteers clap when a first time voter walked out after submitting their ballot. I saw a seventeen year old boy vote at the kids voting booth while his mother took pictures with tears in her eyes. I’ve seen volunteers standing outside waiting for the folks they voluntarily drove to the polls. The mostly new voters come in pairs or on their own, all because someone said to them, “Your vote counts. I will take you to vote.”
I haven’t had an epiphany today – which truly I was hoping to do so. I spent ten hours chatting with friends, talking to Durhamites, and playing a lot of demon solitaire on the iPod touch. As each voter left the building, I thanked them for voting. I chatted with the woman in the pink leopard print shirt with blue streaks in her hair who had been standing out in the rain for several hours passing out literature. She wore an army hat with a big blue McCain/Palin button on the side. I scolded myself for thinking she may be racist. She didn’t look like a Republican. But who “looks like a Republican” anyway?
The last group of volunteers at the Kids Voting Booth
(who are also my awesome friends!)
L to R: Rod, Raymond, Lauren, Mike, Lesa, me
I enjoyed seeing my friends and fellow Kids Voting volunteers get excited when a child walked in the door. The pride on the faces of the parents was more palpable than the child’s after they submitted their ballot. Seeing an entire family wearing an “I voted” sticker is a sight indeed. It was a long day but a fulfilling one. I spent my day with
Added to the excitement of the election, my husband received his first job offer today. We’re not ready to publicly discuss that situation yet, but I can say that the excitement from that phone call only added to the historical significance of this point in time.
We celebrated with our community in Downtown. In the rain, hundreds of people stood together cheering for change. We were wet, smiling and joyous. There was no booing in the crowd, although Elizabeth Dole did receive a serenade of “na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbyeeeeeeeeee” during her concession speech. Damp and exhausted, the husband and I went home to enjoy the rest of the evening in the comfort of our house. We didn’t last too long until we collapsed from exhaustion, but oh did we sleep well.
Flyer for the Downtown Celebration (and the logo on my cool shirt obtained at said celebration!)
A cardboard version of the President-elect
Happy Bradys
Today is a day of jubilation. I feel happy and at peace. That feeling is only interrupted when I hear the cries of the defeated and their allegations against the President-elect I am so proud was elected. I have yet to figure out how to deal with that frustration or with the people who call out these fallacies and unwarranted attacks. If anyone could tell me how to respond, I would appreciate it. I just know that yesterday was one of the best days I have ever had in my life. Definitely in the top three. The future looks bright in so many ways. Change is nothing to be scared of, it is what carries us to new heights. It forces us to challenge ourselves, to look at the world in new ways and achieve what we never thought possible. It’s happening for my country and it’s happening in my home. The future is just waiting…
11.03.2008
KIDS VOTE IN DURHAM!

Did you know that you don't have to be 18 to vote? Well, sure, for the "real" election you have to be 18, but all across the country KIDS VOTE, too!
Kids Voting USA is a nonprofit, nonpartisan group that encourages kids of all ages to become engaged in their communities. Kids of all ages are allowed to vote - some online, some at the polls. Luckily in Durham this year, all 55 precincts will have Kids Voting Booths.
As captain of Precinct 14 in Durham for Kids Voting, I have rounded up a group of volunteers to work the polls from 7:30am-7:30pm. We will be at Y.E. Smith Elementary School encouraging all the kiddos to vote.
If you want to learn more about the Kids Voting program in Durham, go here: KIDS VOTING DURHAM. The program operates nationwide though, so if you aren't in Durham county or even if you aren't in North Carolina, don't fret. Just find your closest location here: KIDS VOTE USA.
The Durham Kids Voting results will be on the local news programs and in local papers. Sure, kids' votes don't count in the actual election, but their voices will be heard in our community. Parents, get your kiddos to the polls! Hopefully I will have some pictures to share on Wednesday!







