Saying Goodbye

THEN: Fall 2004 - The start of our MALS career (Jeremy, me, Pat and Lauren)

NOW: July 2007 - Jeremy, Pat, Lauren and me

Saying goodbye is a hard thing to do - I woke up this morning in a funk. I figured it was from the long weekend I had - lots of social events and several late nights, but the more I thought about it, it wasn't just that. One of my best friends leaves town this week. It's definitely THE influence in my "case of the Mondays."

I met Jeremy back in the late summer of 2004. We were both admitted to the MALS Program at Duke. Along with Lauren and Pat, who were also starting in the same class, the four of us had a great time at orientation, then writing workshops, classes, baseball games, and many - many late nights. We were the four MALSkateers.

Fast forward a bit, and Pat took a hiatus from MALS due to his duties in the military. Lauren and Jeremy started dating, and I got a divorce. Through it all though, these guys were always here for me - and I tried to be around for all of them, too! I really don't know how I would have made it through were it not for the support of my MALSkateers.

And here we are today, July 30, 2007. Pat is working on a PhD at UNC (we try not to fault him too much); Lauren graduated from MALS this past May and is working for the FOCUS program at Duke (and is still aspiring to do her own PhD in the near future); I'm still working on my MALS degree but will graduate in 2008; and Jeremy leaves us this Wednesday for the University of Texas at Austin - if all goes well, he will have a PhD in Philosophy before 2014.

I'm excited for Jeremy and all of the new adventures he has before him. He will make a great professor, and through the experiences he will have at Texas, I know he will be well equipped to take on the better philosophical minds in the world, rather than debating with me about the possibility of eating meat if the animal dies right in front of me due to natural causes.

Jeremy has been a great friend to me - he has listed to me whine, cry, argue, and jabber on incessantly when I have had too much wine. During the very lonely days, he was always there to make me laugh, share a movie and pizza and show me I had true friends - I was not alone.

Our friendship isn't over - it will just be different now. According to Google Maps, he will be about 1,350 miles away from Durham. Texas is still important to me - my family is there! So, I have multiple reasons to return to the Lone Star State now.

At any rate - Jeremy, you will be missed. Your personality, cutting wit and huge package (supposedly anyway) have made Durham a better place for all. You better come back now, ya hear?

Back from Vacation, Part II: Sunrise Pancake House

Mike knows I love pancakes - I will often crave them. And when I do, do not get in my way. Therefore, while tooling around the coastal area, we saw Sunrise Pancake House in Calabash, NC. Mike quickly suggested we go to breakfast there the next morning. Woo hoo!

And that we did - we went on Saturday morning about 10:00am, and the place was packed. We were seated very quickly though by a woman who was probably about 80+ years old - and so friendly! The menu was fantastic. We were there for breakfast, but the menu included great lunch items as well.

Mike settled on a country omelet, and I had the mushroom and cheese omelet. He had grits - I had homefries. Then, we split a pecan pancake that was oh so amazingly good. The pancake was the size of a whole plate itself. Filled with NC pecans and a bit of cinnamon, it was perfect. We were so full from all our food, we both didn't get close to finishing our meals.

For great service, great home-cookin', and a dining experience that you will cherish, when you are in Calabash, NC - go to Sunrise Pancake House!!!

Back from Vacation - Part I: Sea Trail

UPDATE: I mailed a letter to the resort on July 23 - when I came into work this morning, there was a message on my office phone from the property manager of Sea Trail - they got the letter! She is out of the office today, but I will leave here a message and probably talk to her next week.

ORIGINAL POST:
Today is DAY ONE back at work after a very brief vacation - Mike and I, as stated before, headed off to Sunset Beach, NC for a long weekend. We went out there on Friday and came back Sunday evening. I had a great time because I was with Mike, but I will rant on about some of the reasons it could have been better now - more of the "fun" stuff later (I need to get all my pics uploaded!).


The main disappointment was the Sea Trail Resort. Okay, so, it is primarily a golf resort, but the experience was lacking in one big area - customer service. First, we had problems checking in. We were told twice that our room wasn't ready, which is a big pain. Next, all the info we were given about the resort was a map at check in when the lady said, "Here is where you are now - here is where you need to go." Thanks. Evidently there were a couple of restaurants on site, but they weren't even mentioned to us. We were also not informed of a shuttle service which would take you to the beach or around the resort. There was no book of information in the room, so we couldn't even read about it later. The only reason I even know these services exist is because I saw one of the restaurants and heard someone talking about it at the pool, and I overheard another desk lady taking a shuttle reservation from a guest at the front desk.

We paid $107 a night for the room - which, yes, is pretty cheap, but it was merely a ROOM. Really tiny, only one pillow per person on the bed, and I think the cleaning people were using mildewy water to mop the floor in the very small bathroom. This place also operates on a time share system as well, and I can't even imagine someone owning one of these rooms.

The pool area was nice (but the water was a bit gunky). The proximity to the beach was only a few minutes, so that was rather handy. But, I think next time if we head out that way, we will look for something else. I don't really recommend Sea Trail unless you are a wealthy golfer - then, I expect you will get a very different level of customer service.

Next, the high points of the trip ......

"Friday" Funnies

I say "Friday" because I am off to the beach tomorrow morning! Today I received a couple pretty funny forwards over e-mail, and I actually felt like they were worth sharing.

The first is just great (click on the photo below to see it larger in another window). It's a Microsoft Wizard to make your own hip hop music! I need to do this:

The next photo came in an e-mail entitled "Porn for Women." This was my favorite:

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Dog Fighting

For the first time in a while, an animal issue is getting front page press around the country. As you probably already know, football player Michael Vick has been indicted for possible involvement in a dogfighting ring operating out of a home he owned in Virgina. (Please note I am not tagging Vick as "guilty" - he has not been put through a trial yet, and no official court ruling has been made. Nonetheless, the operation which caught Vick and his accessories will hopefully be a hit to this terrible industry.)

As fate would have it, in my class tonight, we are scheduled to talk about dogfighting and the issues that come with it. This is something I know very little about at this point, and I am looking forward to learning more about it. Just in the small amount of reading I have done up to this point, I have been surprised at all the issues that have come up around the issue. Beyond the animal cruelty - which is highly obvious, we are presented with issues of race and class; questions of breed tendencies (i.e. are there "bad" breeds of dogs?); breed specific legislation, underground crime; drugs; gangs; media portrayal - and there are all sorts of branches of each of those issues to consider as well.

CNN has a video posted at the moment which starts to discuss some of these issues. I warn you now, the video is has some rather disturbing images. But it is a good, short video beginning to explain how prevalent dogfighting has become and how it is being portrayed in the media.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/07/18/griffin.dog.fighting.cnn

After I have class tonight, I may be able to discern with you a bit more on these issues. But I just wanted to drop the idea now to get you thinking about it.

Do YOU think there are certain types of dogs that are just "bad"?

If you do, would you support BSL (Breed Specific Legislation)? (I have linked the term to Wikipedia, but in a few short words, a few countries and several states are starting to ban certain breeds - which also very often means that families who have dogs in the breed list - and the dogs have had no issues - are forced to give up their pets. For example, in Royal City, Washington of January this year, a ban on Rotweilers and Pit Bulls was put into effect. Owners of these types of dogs had a short time to "re-home" their dogs outside of the city. No dogs were allowed to remain - whether they were 6 months old or 16 years old. )

I'm curious as to what my readers thoughts may be!!!!

All I Can Do is Cry

Mike and I are headed to the beach next weekend. We settled on Sunset Beach, NC which happens to be only 35 minutes from Myrtle Beach in South Carolina. Someone suggested I check into seeing who was playing at the House of Blues that weekend. As fate would have it, Etta James, the amazing songstress, was playing the Friday we arrived. I bought tickets to a concert faster than I ever have in my life. I was so excited. This CD

is what started it all for me back in college. I heard the ever famous "At Last" and ran out to buy this CD, but I fell in love with every song in this collection. When I put it on in the car or on the iPod, I can sing along to every word. Really, it was a dream come true to go see her perform live.

Until I got the e-mail from Ticketmaster today saying the show was canceled. Now, all I can do is cry.........

Depression

We have all faced it - whether it be a temporary "funk" or an extended period of being blue, we have all faced some sort of depression. I definitely have my moments, but thanks to skills I obtained from good therapy, it is quite a bit easier for me to fight it off (at least I hope so anyway). This morning, I saw a Q&A on the MSN log on page, and I thought the explanation was very well done. So, I cut and pasted it here. I took a few good tips from it , and I hope you can get something out of it too.

Q: What is the best way to deal with depression and anxiety?

A: Quickly and definitively. Whatever kicks them off, depression and anxietyboth are maintained by styles of thinking that magnify the initial insult and alter the workings of the brain in such a way that the longer an episode exists, the less it takes to set off future episodes.

Anxiety and depression are probably two faces of the same coin. Surveys have long shown that 60 percent to 70 percent of people with major depression also have an anxiety disorder, and half of those suffering anxiety also exhibit clinical depression symptoms.

The stress response system is overactive in both disorders. Excess activity of the stress response system sends emotional centers of the brain into overdrive so that negative events make a disproportionate impact and hijack rational response systems. You literally can’t think straight. You ruminate over and over about the difficulties and disappointments you encounter until that’s all you can focus on.

Researchers believe that some people react with anxiety to stressful life events, seeing danger lurking ahead everywhere—in applying for a job, asking for a favor, asking for a date. And some go beyond anxiety to become depressed, a kind of shutdown in response to anticipated danger.

People who have either condition typically overestimate the risk in a situation and underestimate their own resources for coping. Rather than developing the skills to handle situations that make them uncomfortable, sufferers merely avoid what they fear. Often enough, a lack of social skills is at the root. Some types of anxiety — panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and social phobia—are particularly associated with depression.

The fact that anxiety usually precedes the development of depression presents a huge opportunity for the prevention of depression. Young people especially are not likely to outgrow anxiety on their own; they need to be taught specific mental skills.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) gets at response patterns central to both conditions. And the drugs most commonly used against depression have also been proven effective against an array of anxiety disorders.

Although medication and CBT are equally effective in reducing anxiety/depression, CBT is better at preventing return of the disorder. Patients like it better, too, because it allows them to feel responsible for their own success. What’s more, the active coping that CBT encourages creates new brain circuits that circumvent the dysfunctional response pathways.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy teaches people to monitor the environment for the troubling emotional land mines that seem to set them off. That actually changes metabolic activity in the cortex, the thinking brain, to modulate mood states. It works from the top down. Drugs, by contrast, work from the bottom up, modulating neurotransmitters in the brainstem, which drive basic emotional behaviors.

Treatment with CBT averages 12 to 15 weeks, and patients can expect to see significant improvement by six weeks. Drug therapy is typically recommended for months, if not years.

Exercise is an important adjunct to any therapy. Exercise directly alters levels of neurohormones involved in circuits of emotion. It calms the hyperactivity of the nervous system and improves function of the brain's emotion-sensing network. It also improves the ability of the body to tolerate stress. What’s more, it reduces negative thinking and changes people’s perception of themselves, providing a sense of personal mastery and positive self-regard.

However, just telling a distressed person to exercise is futile, as depression destroys initiative. The best thing a loved one can do is to simply announce: “Let’s go for a walk.” Then accompany the person out the door.

Be careful what you ask for......

Found in the Independent Online, in the classifieds section today:

SALADELIA SEEKS ASS MANAGER Saladelia Cafe is currently seeking full-time assistant managers for am/pm shifts. We offer a great work environment, competitive pay, and flexible hours. Barista / Coffee Training is a plus. Please apply in store at 4201 University Drive, Durham between 2-4 pm weekdays, online at www.saladelia.com or send resume / cover letter to food@saladelia.com… [more]
report this ad | website: www.saladelia.com | email me | email a friend Category: Employment Posted: 07/09/2007

Only in Texas

The Fort Bend Herald is my old hometown newspaper, serving the Richmond/Rosenberg area, as well as Needville. They have a watered down on-line version I check fairly regularly. I don't know if you can read any of the text on this particular page or not, but I got a pretty good laugh out of the caption for the photo on the front page. Well, the caption isn't that funny, but the photo attribution is priceless: "Photo courtesy of Cowboy Bill"

Water

This is the cover story on CNN today: http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/07/05/damon.india.widows/index.html

Not really sure how this is a "breaking" news story, as this has been tradition for a very, very long time. But, if this is something that interests you, see this movie right away:


Making this movie was a huge challenge, as the director received death threats and many people protested against this film. It truly is a beautiful movie and provides a great deal of insight into a culture that many of us Americans have no idea even exists.

Planning ahead

I just bought tickets to the theatre today. I got tix to go see Avenue Q. AWESOME! Although, I have to wait until May 8, 2008 to actually go see it. Patience. Patience.