A dose of my own medicine

After telling all my 25 year old friends that their year was going to be tough, I got a big ol' heaping dose of my own medicine. I am absolutely blessed in the wonderful relationship I have, so I am very lucky in that regard (I love you, Mike!), but it seems like I am questioning everything else at the moment.

This last trip to South Africa was tough. It seems like anything that could have gone wrong in our retreats did. A lot of it was beyond my control, but I had this underlying feeling that I was off my game - and if I would have been the MVP like normal, I would have been able to prevent all the mishaps. I came home not feeling confident at all about my job performance. Ambassador Joseph sent me an e-mail thanking me for a job well done, but I feel there may be others who I work with who do not feel the same at all.

I have now been in my job for over 5 and a half years. Both my bosses know I am about ready to move on, but the question is to where. I have applied for several jobs over the past year. I was offered one, but the pay was far too low. I was interviewed for a couple of others, but I was not asked back for second or third interviews. I have a prospect in front of me now - which I am very excited about - but I am also cautious. I want to make sure it is the right move to make if it is offered to me. I will keep you posted on that as I hear more.

I once read a quote that went something like this: "I wake up each morning with a desire to change the world and a desire to enjoy it. It makes it difficult to plan the day." That is a lot what I feel at the moment. I enjoy so many aspects of my life, I truly do. I have wonderful friends, great family and a fantastic relationship. I just need this other part of me to feel fulfilled. I honestly and truly want to make a difference in the world. I just am not sure where to focus my energies. And hate me for saying it, I wouldn't mind making a little money along the way so I can enjoy some of the pricier things in life. I even feel guilty for admitting that.

Someone please tell me that turning 30 will make most of this go away.........

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

“The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen.” (I can't remember who said this, but I have it taped on my desk...)

Also never forget that small things in time (and with patience), will compound to make HUGE differences. It is impossible to think that you (one person) can save the world. Best focus your life and career on making small differences, one person at a time!

It does not get any easier at 30! Your life choices are life choices, no matter your age. When you were 5, it was probably a big decision to pick an ice cream flavor. When you turned 25, it was probably hard hard to pick a first job. When you're 55, it'll probably be hard to pick a retirement date!

Lastly, money isn't everything. I'd rather be poor but happy and in love than rich and sad/empty/lonely!

Best of luck.