The taste of defeat

The taste of defeat resembles that familiar taste in my mouth after swimming out at Alum Creek.


Yes, I have some basic mechanics now. My endurance is still suffering - my stroke is still suffering - and after each OWS, I am starting to suffer a bit more. I feel like I have plateaued on the swim and I am getting no better at all.

I know I have to remember that I ran for YEARS and never got any faster. But damned if I didn't think that swimming would get easier/better faster. I have to stick with it, but it sure is tough each and every time.

I went out and met COTT for Monday night's swim at the lake. Due to craptacular traffic, I missed the 6pm start and got in the water more like 6:15 or so. I stayed "in the shallow end" since I was quite a ways behind the group as a whole. The way out was fine. I mean, I had to stop every couple hundred meters or so, but I made it through. I was feeling okay enough to decide and go out to the "swim lane" farther out on the way back. BIG MISTAKE.

There were waves. The current was moving crazy fast. It felt like swimming in place, and breathing to the side gave me this weird motion sickness feeling as the ripples of the water rushed by. As I would look up to spot, water would just crash over my face. Lord knows how many quarts of lake water I drank. Here's hoping I don't have an internal parasite now. I had to maneuver my way back to the shallow end, and I ended up walking a good chunk of the way back. I deemed it "aqua jogging" to make myself feel better - but the truth is, it wasn't swimming.

I left feeling defeated. I'm seriously nervous about being able to complete the full 1500m of the July 31 Giant Eagle Tri without being the last one out of the water. Would that be the worst? Not necessarily, but I want to do a bit better than "just finishing" for this race. But my first Olympic distance is looking like it is going to be a much bigger challenge than I imagined.

I WILL KEEP GOING. I promise I will. I just needed to bitch. Thanks for listenin'...


Kristin said...

caps are the worst in the water. The goal is not to fight them but slow down and let them go over you! You will get this! Swimming is alot of people weakness! cont to practice the fundamentals and you will get there for sure!

Ms. Duffy said...

You'll get it!

Matthew Smith said...

Sorry about the tough OWS. That's rough. You're going to do fine and make it through your race. Don't give up!

Matty O said...

Swimming is one of those sports... you will have awesome days, and then you will have bad days.

Its one of the worlds greatest mysteries haha.

I am not trying to come off harsh but get used to the crappy swims, not worth the frustration or hassle that comes with them mentally :)

Keep on plugging through these though, they will make you better!

M said...

I agree with all of you - I have had runs that have been beyond crappy. I still remember training for my first half marathon and crying in the shower after horrendous runs.

This sport is as much mental as it is physical, so I know I just have to push through. Thank you all for your support!!!!

T said...


Big Daddy Diesel said...

You will get there, you are determined to get there, you are swimming a ton in the open water. I remember not too long ago you wanted to break 10 minute miles, you were determined and now your way under 10 mins.