A daily choice

I read a lot of triathlon/running/fitness blogs. For so many people, the training/racing lifestyle seems so second nature. They don't have to choose to do it - they just do it. It's who they are. At least reading from the outside, that's the way it seems. Effortless effort. What an oxymoron.

I feel that for me, every single day I have to make the choice to do this.

I was talking to a coworker the other day about training - running, swimming, spin, etc. Then I said the thing that always sits in the back of my head, "Honestly, I would much rather be at the bar." I had some serious party days. Smoking, drinking, staying up late and chatting with friends til ridiculous hours. I loved it. Sure I felt like crap many mornings, but I enjoyed the comradery - the "lifestyle."

But I knew I couldn't sustain it. It was expensive. It was bad for my health. I needed to do something more productive. So I started running - it took years for me to get where I am today, but is it weird that sometimes I miss the old way I use to do things? Maybe it's just because it was easy. I didn't have to think at all. I could order drinks at the bar, and I could talk to people for hours. I could bond over cigarettes and cider and it required no effort except to say "Yep, I'll have another." (and in no way was I a crazy drunk or anything - I just had an amazing group of friends out in the world, and our social circle revolved around the bar.....anyway.....)

But it's no way to go through life. I knew it then even, and I really know it now. But sometimes that old way of life creeps back in here and there. Like I said, I have to make a choice every single day to stick to my training schedule. It isn't second nature. In fact, it is so unlike me that I keep doing it to show myself that I am capable of doing things that I had no idea I could do. Every day is a triumph, an adventure - some sort of obstacle overcome.

And right now, I choose to stop writing and go get my six mile run in. The road calls. Then I'll have a cider - it's Super Bowl Sunday after all :-)

1 comment:

Christi said...

Wow, I totally relate to your post. Every day I have to wake up and remind myself that I must live a healthly life. Its not easy at all and this week was really difficult. But i made it thorugh and I am giong to making "a daily choice!"