The fight to keep going

Surely some of you have felt like this - right? I hope so.

Ahem....dare I even ask the question???...do you ever just want to give it up? The healthy eating? The training regimens? The race fees?

I hate to say it, but I am just not inspired to train right now. Maybe it's the heat. That Granville 5 mile race kicked my ass. Between the high humidity and high heat - and the resulting heat exhaustion - I think I got shaken. I felt terrible. It was also my first race where I was way way in the dead last section of people. I know I'm not an awesome racer, but I have never felt so "in the back of the pack" as I did that day. It shouldn't matter, but it hurt my ego quite a bit. (and yes, I know I ran a tri the day before, but still - I physically felt gross after that 5 mile run)

I ran with D in Chicago this weekend, and it felt good. But I think it felt good because I had someone to run with. I miss having running buddies. I know there are lots of runners in Granville, but as illustrated on July 5, they mostly run sub 8 minute miles. I'm not sure if I would ever get to that point.

In fact, I don't think races sound as fun anymore because I don't have any one to run them WITH. I feel terrible dragging hubby out to sit at the finish line for every race - it can't be terribly fun for him, but none of my lady buddies race.

Here's what I think I should do. This week - sign up for the Emerald City Half of a Half. I spend the next month getting ready for a 6.55 mile race. Next, I think I need to do a better job of trying to meet people in the racing community. That may mean meeting folks in Columbus. (it just sounds like such a pain......) Ugh.

I know this is a pity party - I totally, totally do. I just want a couple awesome race buddies who live IN my town and run slow like me (it would also help if they were friendly, cool and awesome). Is that so much to ask???

okay, pity party over. I should sign up for this race.


T said...

I live in NEW YORK and I have the same trouble finding a slow-enough running partner. If I had that perfect partner, I know from experience that I would be doing better than I am and enjoying it more. And I feel the same way you've expressed, a lot. If you're not enjoying running, it's okay to take some time off from it. Or time off from racing, or whatever you need to.

M said...

Thanks so much, T!!!!!! Just hearing all that from someone else makes me feel a lot better. I decided to go ahead and sign up for the Quarter Marathon as a capstone for my race season. This winter I'll take some time off and get back to it in the late winter, spring. I've finally learned how to run in snow, so I will be all good to go for next year's tri/running season. I just think the fall will be spent with good food and beer.

Kristin (Triathlon Dreams) said...

Yes, I also have felt like giving up. But remind myself why I race. I like the Feeling, for me, no one else. Its hard when you want to be a "better runner, triathlete, cycler" whatever it may be and then you have a bad run...
Let it soak in and move forward. I commend you in all your efforts to be healthy.

Big Daddy Diesel said...

I found your blog via KC, then I got excited that your in Granville, not many Central Ohio bloggers out there in our sport.

We all have bad days on the course, the heat and humidity is horrible right now, that accounts for alot of it. On July 5th, its was sooo flipping hot on a WBC ride from Westerville to Granville 70 mle ride, I had signs of heat stroke during that ride, I did not want to even look at my bike after that ride, and that says alot since I am a biker. So I know how you felt on the 5th. I did the JCC as well on the 4th.

Hang in there, its a long, tough season. We all go through the ups and downs. I havent had a good race since Tri for Joe in May, yet I keep on coming back for more. I am even questioning finishing my season, yet i know I will. We do this because we look for a challenge. Its more of a personally battle with ourselves, to prove to ourselves we can do what we set out to do. I know this saying gets old, but if it was easy, everyone would do it. We are wired to avoid easy.

M said...

Hi, Big Daddy!!! So nice to "meet" another local - I'm sorry you had heat issues that weekend, too, but it makes me feel justified in my subsequent misery! And very cool you were at JCC too. Thanks so much for sharing here - I guess it's tough for all of us at times. But just hearing from you all has already re-inspired me. I can and will stick with this. We've all come so far. No need to turn back now...