South African Funnies

An American friend of mine who spent about 5 months in South Africa sent this to me over e-mail. She was getting nostalgic over her time there, and she thought I would appreciate it. I decided to blog about it here because I thought it may be fun for folks to see an international version of, "You know you are from XXXXX when...." Anyway, enjoy. A lot of cultural stuff in here. Kind of fun! (I'll add in some commentary in parentheses if I can provide some description)

YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:

> You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume" (never heard this one...)

> You call a traffic light a "robot" (yup)

> The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy
they are (when the unions strike and have mass action marches, they don't just march - there is singing, dancing, etc)

> The SABC (South African Broadcasting Company) advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished watching

> You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather

> You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any (and if you do drink it, you know the correct combo of milk and lemon to add, too)

> You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them

> You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela

Mandela, Mary (my boss's wife) and my boss!

> You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously (I have actually done this a few times!)

> You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State

> You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer (bribes are fairly common....)

> You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement (open air markets, baby!)

> You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car (there are guys standing in most parking lots who will watch your car for money)

> You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers

> To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750

> Hijacking cars is a profession

> You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light

> The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car

> More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election (sound familiar??)

> People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill,Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given (very true)

> "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month

> You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis traveling in the opposite direction

> Traveling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway

> You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it

> A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes

> The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday

> You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital

> You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one

> Prisoners go on strike

> You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car

> You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once (ok, it's not THAT bad...)

> Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high (in South Africa, the immigration of Rwandan and DRC refugees is similar to the issues we have in the US with Cuban/Mexican immigrants - same type of tension)

> When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi ad

> You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from SA