The Quarter Life Crisis

25. Quarter life. Seems like everything should be on its way in life - everything should be good. One is young, full of energy, and they have the world in front of them. BULL SHIT. Welcome, quarter life crisis.

The age of 25 sucks. For nearly everyone I know. When I was 25, the year was 2003. I got married that year. By the time of our first anniversary, I was so up in the air about life, my ex has now told me it was at our one year anniversary dinner when he gave up on our marriage because I was so twisted up about figuring out my existence. I freaked out in that year. Who am I? What the hell am I doing with my life? How did I get here? Is this where I will be forever? Will I really be able to have it all? The questions were endless.

Since I hang out with a lot of folks in grad school, I have several people around me who just turned 25, just turned 26, or are just about to turn 25. Let me tell you - they have all just either exited a period of whirling confusion, have just entered one, or have no idea that within the next month (when the big 2-5 hits) that they will probably get a load of crap dropped on them that will require them to question their very existence.

I have been talking to all of these folks individually and never piecing this together. And today, at lunch with a good friend who just turned 26 (she is now in the clear - YES!), she completed the puzzle for me. "Twenty-five BLOWS."

I have guy friends questioning the motives of women, girl friends questioning the motives of men, guys and girls questioning their path in life. Should a relationship continue or end? Should I go to school for more education or get a job? Can I be who I really want to be? Is this all life has to offer? Why does it feel like everyone is moving ahead, and I can't figure out what the hell I want to do?And I know - we all ask ourselves these questions at various stages of life. But at this turning point age of 25, it almost seems like this is the first time that ALL the big questions start to hit you at once.

At that age, most of us have friends who are married AND single, have kids AND don't have kids, have jobs AND don't have jobs, are in school AND decided to drop out/not go. And then here we are - what group do i fall into? This all seems to be very amplified in graduate school where you have close circles of friends - so it seems like there is always a measuring stick around. "Am I where I should be at at this point in my life? That guy has already published 10 times! AND he has Tim Russert's home number in his cell. I don't even know the number to the local Pizza Hut!" Okay, so maybe not THAT bad, but you get the drift.

So here I am now, at 28. Life seems relaxed. As everyone around me tends to be in a total whirl, I actually feel grounded (thank you!!!!). But I also feel it is a necessary phase we all have to go through. You learn to take control of your own life. To make your own decisions. And it really helps if you fall off the pedestal you've been sitting on for so long. Realizing that one can make mistakes - and what they say is true - you really DO learn from them.

There will be tears, there will be frustrations, there will be many beers drank. But, man, when you come out from it, it is great. You know yourself better. And it's not necessarily that you finally know what you want. But you have a better idea. And you know more of what you don't want either - and you realize knowing that is just as important.

So to all my 25 year old friends - I salute you. This year may suck for you. But at your birthday next year, take a deep breath. You made it through. Trust me - 30 ain't looking so bad from where I stand!

What do you think? How was the year YOU were 25? I know that several of the folks facing their current crises read this lil bitty blog, and I know they would love to hear they aren't alone. Or, I guess you can gloat if your 25th year of life was the best ever. I let people post anonymously on this blog, so feel free to leave your comments. We would all like to see them!